CLINICAL ISSUES
The Dynamics of Leaving and Recovering from an Abusive Relationship☆

https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1552-6909.1998.tb02641.xGet rights and content

The process of leaving an abusive relationship involves repeated attempts at leaving and returning and is influenced by a number of individual characteristics and contextual factors. Leaving is an initial step in recovering from an abusive relationship, a process that also includes struggling for survival, grieving, and searching for the meaning of the experience. Nurses must recognize that recovering from an abusive relationship can be a lifelong process, and health care providers have unique opportunities to support a woman's recovery.

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Leaving an Abusive Relationship

Most abused women eventually leave their abuser permanently or take action that decreases or ends the abuse (Bowker, 1983, Okun, 1986). The process of ending the abusive relationship and recovering from its effects involves repeated attempts at leaving and returning (Walker, 1984). An abused woman leaves and returns to her male partner many times before she leaves the relationship for the final time. A pattern of first seeking help from a variety of sources and then leaving the batterer and

Recovering From an Abusive Relationship

Recovering from an abusive relationship can be divided into two major phases. The initial phase of recovering begins when a woman first makes steps to leave the relationship. Although this cycle of leaving may continue for a short period of time or for many years, it is the initial step a woman takes to separate herself from her partner, to rebuild her self-esteem, and to take some control over her life. Restructuring of one’s life is the second phase of a woman’s recovering from abuse. The

Struggling for Survival

The need for food, shelter, and safety dominate a woman’s thoughts once she has left the relationship. A woman expends a great deal of energy replacing negative beliefs about herself that she has internalized from her partner. Regardless of her economic independence, a woman questions her ability to succeed. Even women who supported the family while in the relationship question their ability to survive alone. These feelings of inadequacy can be intensified by negative responses women receive

Grieving

A woman must grieve through the loss of the relationship, the loss of roles that fit into that relationship, the loss of friends, and possibly the loss of the father of her children. The grief a woman experiences often is not recognized by others because in leaving the relationship it is assumed that she is leaving only a situation of abuse and is leaving by choice. Although at this time there is little attachment that is meaningful and fulfilling, a woman is grieving the loss of what the

Summary

Recovering from an abusive relationship is essential for a woman to move on with her life and, if desired, to become involved in a healthy significant relationship. Often, once a woman has left an abusive relationship it is assumed that her major problems are over. The fear associated with abuse remains for years and may have a significant influence on her life. A woman has spent so much of her energy on maintaining control of the relationship to control the abuse that she needs to regain a

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    Copyright © 1998 AWHONN, the Association of Women's Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses. Published by Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.